Life is so vulnerable

I am really feeling very emo today. My 4th uncle passed away in an accident. I was really shocked to know that. When my mum told me in my half sleep mode, I suddenly remember my ah gong. Somehow I become very sad. It is also about this time. 4 years ago April 1st.

I have been quite close to them because my little brother used to tution there. So when he finished his tution, my mum will have a chat with my 4th autine in Mac or at the coffee near there.

My heart feel bits and pieces of pain. How come such a thing happen? He is still okay when we see him during Chinese New Year. I do not know what happened that caused this accident but it was definately a heart breaking news.

Increament in pay

I got a pay increament more than I expected. That's great because I didn't get once last year... Last year only J and TP got. :( Anyway I think I am not resigning since I think I am happy with the increament. Even though not a lot, but it is more than what I expected. But anyway, still have to see my job load back in office. :)

I am quite excited going back to office. Because I can get my alt Sat back as well as going back earlier. I go meet my friends and do facial. I was actually still pondering to resign or not last week. I think I am quite sick with the job and the pay.

I am going back to my gym routine. I am used to not eating at home so it's okay... :) I must be slim slim. I dun want to look like tc. Jia you le, for your pride...

Finally the last pile

I have finally completed my last pile, P26 for my site. I feel relieved but sad. I have to go back to office. Which I am really not that happy. I have the face my f pm. How I wish to stay site forever, despite the tough conditions and long working hours.

It has been a very fun time. I really enjoyed myself. Even though I sort of messed up my spree reputation. Well, that's not a problem. I can built it back but it might take sometime. :)

Went KFC with Mr Ang today. I really think the kfc here taste very nice. I really envy them. Not like the kfc near my home. OMG!! So not fresh, did I mention that KFC now have egg tarts? I think it is really not bad but really cannot eat too much... I find it a bit 腻.

Will still be on site because I will be having meeting next week. Then will be back to office forever... I wondered if I will have increament? I am thinking of resigning... But...

Jack Neo Affairs

Well. I decided that I would like to blog something about Jack Neo also... Well, I think somehow I should have guess it when I was reading the uweekly magazine.

Anyway, somehow it did not really shocked me that much as I know being such a famous and well reputated director, of course there will surely be some butterfly hovering around him. But I am really disgust by him. How can he even think of having a 22 year old gal as her mistress? He is old enough to be her father. How can he do it with a young gal? It feels so pervert la....

When I saw the news of his 记者会,I seriously think that it is just another drama.

1st point: Why would he want his wife to face the media? It is not fair to her to face the media and lie. It Jack really love her that much, he shouldn't have done that...

2nd point: Wrong time to bring his wife also. Since this 记者会 is to tell the reporter what happen or maybe say sorry, I think bring your wife is not suitable since reporter will surely asked her immediately.

3rd point: Ah nan. I seldom see a 记者会 with some gangster. Well, we are not having some 7th month concert why him. Portarying a wrong image that if the reporter asked the wrong question, ah nan will beat them up.

4th point: Too short. 5 min 记者会 is lack of sincerity. Dun go and say u intend to have a longer one later. If that's the case, Jack should not stand up. Maybe mark direct Mrs Neo out.

5th point: If he wants to have his wife coming, get the gal to come too. Settle once and for more.

I think Jack is not ready for this 记者会, since that's the case, dun open one and let the your showbiz get affected by this. Dun plan his lies well. Even though I feel disgusted by the rest of the woman coming out after the affairs is out, but I am really even disgusted by how Jack is answering the question. What prove does he want from them? I think it is at least 70% true that he dated them. Anything after that, not up to anyone to say. Since only 2 of them know the answer.

Come take a look at the press conference below:

East Coast Meeting With Collegue

Tomorrow meeting that guin guin and the rest. It's been sometimes since I meet them... Seems like Arthur, Alan and might be going, not to forget that tp. Really missed all of them since I haven't been seeing them for the past one week... Yohoo~!

Am I forgotten?

I think I am forgotten. I am a low profile person but stubborn personally. I think I only see Bing and Pei Wen starting my 2010. Where has all my other friends went to? Where is Lewis, Ting, Billy, Raymond and so on... I managed to pissed 2 groups of my friend.

One gp is because they are actually less understanding towards me. (I assume can? Since I dunno what happened that cause the scolding.) We are the best of friends during our secondary School time. However, I dun remember what really happen. I think Dale (Kelly's friend) went to tag on my board and scolding me. Even though no one wants to tell who did that. I really can't remember what happened. But after that incident, neither me nor them want to take the first move. I think it has been 4 years from that incident. Still I was always not in their invite list. Seriously, Ting did ask me before, if they asked me out, will I come? The answer is I dun know.

Since we haven't been talking for so long. We all changed a lot after Secondary School, I am no longer that naive gal that will think that all friendship last and also human is kind. I would try to but I know I will be left out, since I always know it is easy for a group of people opening a small hole for 1 person trying to squeeze into a group of people. Friends used to be important to me.

Over the years, I really changed a lot. I used to love to watch TV and will even record the shows I want to watch, then later I grew addicted to online games. Now I addicted to facebook apps.

I pissed my other group of friends somehow. I can remember this clearly and I know that I have been a failure and stupid gal to think that they are my friends. At least 3 of them dislike me. My thinking of this incident, I somehow know what happened. Even though I was wondering how it become this way. Well, I learnt something out of this thing, even friend A and friend B dunno know each other well, never tell friend A about friend B. Because who knows what u say about friend B will end up at friend C and then to friend A.

Those that know me well, console me. I do not want to comment on this incident but thanks all my other friends. I am naive to think that secret will be kept within one, I have bear my own doings~

First time lunch in

Well well well...

Quite busy but still decide to snake a while since it is my lunch time now. I am pondering to resign or not. Since there is really nothing much for me to stay. After knowing so much, I dun think I can stay. My pay still okay, to me really hoped that they raise my salary a bit. Is 2K really too much for me? Why am I still stuck with 1.95K. Haiz...

Bonus always disappoint me a bit every year. My direct boss also disappoints me. I do enjoy my time here, esp on site when there is no ppl to niam me. Nowadays I prefer to work and relaxing job. Maybe, I somehow know that I am stuck in my job. I do not have a degree, a lot of time even if I am better than those degree people. It is still useless, this is what Singapore is. A city of qualification. I know by saying that, I sound like some useless people. But I really want to find some admin job where I can work 5 days and leave on time. I want to lead a more relaxing life, maybe this job have make me realise that working too hard is useless.

I am considering resigning, this time I am serious. I need to know what I want to do. Suddenly, I lost my goal. I dun know what I want. I dunno what I want to achieve in my life. I like to do spree but I wun be doing for a time being. Since I dun want to work for the sake of work. I know I sound spoilt. I dun have burden in my life now. I have finished paying my poly school fees. I dun need to support my kids. I just give some allowance for my mum to spend only.

But seems like I dun have very high pay and I can't further my studies too. Stuck somewhere not high not low. That's why I dun mind doing a lower job. I dun prefer working a higher job but god is good to me. So far, my job usually is okay for me.

Life at site

Since now I am attached to site, I am very worried about the site progress most of the time. Worried whether or not, we can finished in time, whether or it will rain today.

Finally my project is running smooth. I get a bit more time to do other stuff. But I really dun know what to do. Hence, I will walk site more. See see look look and think think. Sometimes when I dun understand why they do certain thing, I will asked. Then I learn something new. I will start to do As Built Table, compile concrete cube test results, update my drawing and prepare progress report.

However, being the rare breed on site. I met some stuff that I dunno how to react. For eg., seeing some almost naked Indian Worker bathing. I was shocked to see that the workers was bathing on site with only left with his brown underwear. Then I went to tell Ang, I am really to urgent that I want to go toliet. However, that worker was nowhere found.

Another incident was my toliet door was opened once. Since I have to share my toliet with management people. I am not going to name who opened my door. But I really dun understand how he can be that stupid to open my door. I even on my phone music to prevent anyone from thinking that no one was in the toliet. He can still open!! Haiz... Lucky, I grabbed the knob. I dun think he saw anything since I am sitting and shitting. Maybe he smell my shit that's all. :)

Always some strange thing happen on and off. It is enjoyable to work here. Except for the long working hour, I enjoyed working on site.